At the start of every therapy session, I ask my clients, “What’s on your mind today?” and the first response is usually, “I’m so frustrated!”
While this phrase is used so ubiquitously in today’s world, it can reveal much or, sometimes, nothing at all.
What is Frustration Trying to Tell You?
Every emotion we experience is a signal. If you identify that you are truly feeling frustrated (versus angry, sad, anxious, etc) the first step is to ask yourself, “What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
At its core, frustration is a signal that we long to control something that is not within our control.
Which means the next step is to ask yourself, “What am I trying to control in this situation?”
Then, take 3-4 deep breaths and assess what is within your control and what is not.
Like the serenity prayer says, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Too often, we get stuck in complaints about frustration and miss where our power is…in the courageous acts of what we can control. When you discern what is within your control and take action on it, the frustration will dissipate. If you’re struggling to manage your frustration, visit our individual counseling page to learn about our different approaches to therapy and how it can help you.
Finally, a simple ask, I’d love to hear what YOU want to know about. What would better help you with your relationships? Reply to this email or send me a DM on Instagram with your questions.
