Not in Sync with your Spouse? Listen to The Boss
By: Ganel, LCMFT Owner/Principal Therapist

Music and lyrics can capture a mood, express a thought or feeling in ways that can transform us, and our relationships. As a teenager, I used to listen to music for hours on end in my bedroom, as many teens did… and still do. Music soothed my teen heartache on many occasions. I think I almost wore out my 33 rpm stereo system and certainly had many records that skipped in certain places from so much play time! Ah, if only I’d had iTunes and an MP3 player back then.

In my work with couples today, I often find that music and lyrics can help people shift from a place of feeling stuck emotionally with one another, much like my records were, to a place of forgiveness, understanding and connection.

Bruce Springsteen captures beautifully in his song “Should I Fall Behind”, the struggle many couples experience of not being in sync with each other. One of you may be ready to get married, while the other is not quite there. Maybe you’ve been married for many years and you are itching to retire while your partner is not yet. Or, one of you may be grieving the loss of a parent and the other wishes you could let the grief go and live fully again. These and many other situations can leave couples feeling stuck, like a broken record, going over the same issues, struggles or disagreements and feeling out of sync with one another.

Take a moment to read the wise lyrics from Bruce below:

“We said we’d walk together, baby come what may
That come the twilight, should we lose our way
If as we’re walking a hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me

We swore we’d travel, darlin’ side by side
We’d help each other stay in stride
But each lover’s steps fall so differently
But I’ll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
Wait for me

Now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do
So let’s make our steps clear that the other may see
And I’ll wait for you
If I should fall behind
Wait for me

Now there’s a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There ‘neath the oak’s bough, soon we will be wed
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Darlin’ I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind
Wait for me ”

Better yet, look it up on iTunes and listen to it when you have a chance. As Shakespeare said, ” If music be the food of love, play on.” And when the stress and struggles of a relationship are too much to handle on your own, seek help from a friend, clergy or therapist. At Together Couples Counseling, we’d be glad to assist you with getting back in sync. Just give us a call.

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