One minute, leaving the marriage may feel like your best option. And the next, you think to yourself, “I don’t want to leave, but I don’t know if I can stay”.
You’ve gone back and forth like this for days or months.
Or maybe you desperately want to stay in your marriage, but your spouse is unsure.
Should you stay or should you go? That’s a decision we, at Together Couples Counseling, take very seriously. Discernment Counseling can help!
Call us now for an appointment 410-440-1413 | Text to 443-574-4919
If you and your partner are seriously considering a divorce, or have even started the process, all is not necessarily lost. Research shows in nearly half of divorcing couples, at least one partner is willing to continue working on the relationship, and in one of nine cases, both partners are willing.
Should I Work on My Marriage?
Reach Clarity Through Discernment Counseling
- Understand yourself and what went wrong in your relationship
- Figure out the right path for you – reconciliation (working on the marriage), divorce, or continuing in the relationship as things are now
- Get help in finding professional support for a constructive result
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is a short-term process designed to help you and your partner figure out if both of you are willing to work on your relationship. Your discernment counselor works to understand both of your viewpoints, even when the two of you no longer understand each other.
This isn’t marriage or relationship counseling. You won’t be working on solving your issues, but rather on understanding yourselves, figuring out what went wrong, assessing if your relationship can be saved, and deciding if you’re both willing to do the work needed.
At the end of the process, you will reach clarity on your path forward, be it working on your marriage, going through with a divorce, or taking time out before deciding. In short, Discernment Counseling is a quick way to clarify for you if there’s any point in trying.
Is Discernment Counseling Right For Me?
If you’re considering divorce, but still have some doubts; if you want to be completely sure before taking such a drastic and irrevocable step; if you want to give it one more shot and want to see if your partner feels the same; if any of the above describes you, Discernment Counseling is for you.
Discernment Counseling is not appropriate if you or your spouse reached a final decision to end the marriage; if domestic violence is involved, if one of you is coercing the other into counseling, or if a court has issued an Order of Protection.
Here’s a quick checklist to see if our process is likely to be a good fit.
- My partner and I are torn between trying to make it work and the feeling of despair and belief that we can’t
- Things have been so bad for so long that divorce seems like the only option
- Things have happened between us, and we can’t find a way to get past them
- We don’t want to hurt our kids or extended family, but we’re not sure we can stay together
If any of the above describes your situation, call us at 410-440-1413 and schedule your Discernment Counseling appointment now.
OR Text to 443-574-4919
If I Start Discernment Counseling, What’s the Process Like?
The process is short, no more than five sessions. The first session, usually an hour and a half, is a conversation with both of you initially, then each of you individually, and then both of you together again. Follow-up conversations are an hour to an hour and a half each, with one or both of you. Throughout, the counselor respects both of your viewpoints, and your reasons for or against divorce.
The objective is to explore the possibility of restoring your relationship, helping each of you see your contribution to your relationship issues, and understanding how each of you can help solve them. Even if you ultimately decide to go through with a divorce, you will do so with more clarity and with greater confidence that it’s the right thing to do.
We’re committed to helping you find a path to reconciliation, but above that, we respect and honor the choices both of you make. Whether you decide to work on your marriage, or go through with a divorce, your counselor will help you find professionals to help you achieve your goal in the healthiest, most constructive way.
Is Discernment Counseling Only for Married Couples, or Only for Couples with Children?
No! If you’re in a relationship and are considering a break-up, we’ll work with you. You can be married, cohabiting, or living separately; you can be hetero or same-sex; you can have minor children, adult children, or no children.
I’m Still Not Sure If Our Relationship Is Worth the Effort
Healthy committed relationships, especially marriages, offer unique emotional and other benefits to the partners, their children, their communities, and society. Unfortunately, our culture makes it very difficult to maintain a life-long commitment to each other. Keeping relationships strong and growing takes ongoing commitment and work, but we believe the benefits of being in a relationship far outweigh the costs.
In some cases, divorce is the only appropriate solution. Destructive or abusive relationships bring harm to the victimized partner and/or children. Whether as the result of infidelity or other issues, if one partner has given up on the relationship and is unwilling to work on it further, couples counseling is not helpful. However, in most cases, there is still hope. The “committed” part of committed relationships implies an obligation to work on a faltering marriage or partnership rather than simply giving up and moving on.
We all have the inherent ability to move past anger, distrust, and even apathy. If you’re both willing to consider it, you owe it to yourselves to give your partnership one more chance. If you both recommit to the relationship, with proper help and support, your relationship really could make it. We can help you figure out if you’re willing to do what it takes.
Call us at 410-440-1413 and take the first step OR Text to 443-574-4919
“Together Couples Counseling are excellent therapists and I would recommend anyone going through a hard time to them.”