In many relationships, one partner tends to collapse inward during conflict, where they are apologizing too quickly, second-guessing themselves, or trying to keep the peace. The other often takes the opposite stance, where they are explaining, correcting, or taking control of the conversation.
The majority of couples answer my question, “What do you hope to get out of couples therapy,” the same way…
“We want to communicate better.”
When they met, she loved how he pursued his musical passions. He loved how they could have intellectually stimulating conversations for hours.
What matters most to you? When you slow down, and look at how you spend your time, what you put the most emotional effort and energy into, what rises to the top?
Often, it’s not a big bang that ends a marriage (though it certainly can be from betrayal and other significant relational traumas).
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