Money plays a major role in serious relationships. For many, it’s the source of stress, arguments, or even breakdowns. While it’s often said that money can solve problems, there’s another side of money that can cause real harm to a relationship. Understanding how wealth impacts marriages and partnerships can be key to keeping things healthy.
Let’s look at the negative effects of wealth on relationships and how you can work through them.
The Danger of Financial Dependence
Members of a relationship often discuss financial dependence when one partner is struggling with money. However, the opposite can also be true. When one partner becomes financially dependent on the other because of their wealth, it can create feelings of insecurity or low self-worth. The dependent partner may feel like they don’t have much to offer beyond their financial needs, which can harm their self-esteem and sense of autonomy.
Suggestion: Encourage each partner to maintain their sense of financial independence, even if one partner earns significantly more. This might involve setting financial goals, investing in personal growth, or seeking career advancement. If financial dependence becomes an issue, a therapist can help both partners build self-worth in ways that aren’t tied to money.
Lifestyle Pressure
Wealth can also bring with it certain expectations about lifestyle. High salaries can often lead to a higher standard of living—think luxury vacations, big houses, or expensive cars. While this may seem like a dream come true, it can also cause stress. Partners may feel pressure to keep up with each other’s spending habits or, on the flip side, may feel guilty for not meeting the other’s expectations.
Suggestion: It’s crucial for couples to have clear, ongoing discussions about their financial goals and the type of lifestyle they want to maintain. If wealth is causing stress or unrealistic expectations, setting clear boundaries and agreeing on shared priorities can help. A financial planner can assist in ensuring both partners feel like they’re on the same page regarding money and lifestyle goals.
Jealousy and Resentment
In some marriages, wealth can spark feelings of jealousy. For example, one partner may feel envious of the other’s ability to spend money freely or make major financial decisions without consulting them. These feelings can lead to resentment, which can build over time if not addressed. What might start as a minor issue can grow into a much larger problem that threatens the relationship.
Suggestion: The key here is to approach these feelings with honesty. Talk about what’s causing the jealousy and why it’s affecting you. This requires vulnerability, but it’s important for partners to recognize their own feelings of insecurity or resentment. Therapy can be a safe space to unpack these emotions and work on resolving them.
The Impact of Financial Stress on Intimacy
Money worries can also affect physical and emotional intimacy. Financial stress can make partners more irritable, less emotionally available, or disengaged from each other. This can create a distance that impacts their bond and overall relationship satisfaction.
Suggestion: Couples need to find ways to reconnect and nurture their relationship, especially during times of financial stress. This doesn’t necessarily mean taking big vacations or buying expensive gifts; it’s about focusing on emotional intimacy. Do simple things together that promote connection, like cooking a meal, going for a walk, or having a conversation about something other than money.
Next Steps
Money might not be the root of all problems, but it certainly has the potential to strain relationships. If you’re struggling with the negative effects of money in your relationship, seeking outside guidance from a therapist like me can provide the support that a couple needs to move forward together. I am here to help and the first step toward prioritizing your marriage is to schedule a consultation call for couples therapy. A free 15-minute call can ensure if my office is the best fit for your needs.
