Being in a relationship with a narcissist can leave deep scars. The impact often extends far beyond the relationship itself, regardless of whether it was romantic, familial, or professional. As a relational life therapist (RLT), I’ve seen how these relationships affect people in unique and often subtle ways. Let’s look deeper at the lasting effects of being involved with a narcissist and what you can do to heal.
What Is a Narcissistic Relationship?
A narcissistic relationship involves one person who has narcissistic traits like a sense of superiority, a lack of empathy, and a deep need for admiration. In these relationships, the narcissist tends to manipulate or control the other person to maintain their own sense of power and importance. The dynamics of these relationships are often marked by gaslighting, emotional abuse, and a lack of genuine care for the other person’s needs.
The Emotional Toll of a Narcissistic Relationship
One of the biggest effects of being in a narcissistic relationship is how it impacts your emotional health. Narcissists don’t see others as equals. This means that, over time, the victim of the relationship may feel insignificant, self-conscious, and confused. Narcissists thrive on control and this can create confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt.
Trust Issues: A Deep-Rooted Problem
After leaving a narcissistic relationship, it’s common to struggle with trust. Narcissists often break promises, manipulate situations, or outright lie. This creates a pattern of broken trust that can be hard to undo. It’s not unusual for someone who has been in a narcissistic relationship to have difficulty trusting others, even in future relationships or friendships.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries
Narcissists don’t respect boundaries. They push limits and often disregard the needs of others in favor of their own. If you were in a narcissistic relationship, you may find it difficult to set boundaries in future relationships. You might feel guilty about saying “no” or be afraid of how others will react if you assert your own needs.
Learning to set boundaries again is essential for healing. It’s a skill that many survivors of narcissistic relationships need to relearn. Boundaries aren’t just about saying “no”—they’re about recognizing your needs and understanding that your emotions, time, and energy matter.
Rebuilding After a Narcissistic Relationship
Healing after being in a narcissistic relationship takes time, but it is possible. Here are some ideas to help you heal:
See a Therapist
Working with a therapist can help you understand the effects of narcissism and develop tools to rebuild your emotional health. Therapy is an important space to work through feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and shame.
Invest in Yourself
You may have neglected your own needs while in the relationship. Take time to rediscover what makes you feel good. Scheduling a haircut, spa day, or planning a vacation with friends could all make you feel more like yourself again.
Learn to Trust Again
Rebuilding trust is gradual. Start by trusting yourself. Pay attention to your gut feelings and intuition. If something doesn’t feel right in a new relationship, it’s okay to take a step back.
Set and Enforce Boundaries
Practice setting small boundaries in low-stakes situations. This can help you rebuild your confidence in asserting your needs. As you get more comfortable, you can gradually set more important boundaries in relationships.
Next Steps
While being in a narcissistic relationship can leave long-lasting scars, don’t forget that you are not defined by what you’ve been through. With the right tools, support, and a commitment to self-care, you can rebuild your life and emerge stronger than before.
If you’re struggling to navigate the effects of a narcissistic relationship, consider seeking help from a relational life therapist. You don’t have to face it alone, reach out to my practice today.
