What matters most to you? When you slow down, and look at how you spend your time, what you put the most emotional effort and energy into, what rises to the top?
At the start of every therapy session, I ask my clients, “What’s on your mind today?” and the first response is usually, “I’m so frustrated!”
When couples struggle with communication issues, one of the main reasons is that they use complaints to address upsets or problems that arise.
Most of us have a habit of looking at the world through a black-and-white, this or that, either or lens at times.
I didn’t feel like working out. That’s not unusual for me.
“Why don’t we have sex anymore? We used to be all over each other”, John said in his first couples therapy session with his wife, Anna.
“I keep telling my husband we need to go to couples counseling but he refuses, what can I do?”
Often, it’s not a big bang that ends a marriage (though it certainly can be from betrayal and other significant relational traumas).